I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
