at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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