put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
