I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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