Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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