One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's just like the Real World with babies
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
