stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
