Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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