Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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