Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
