I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How naked do you want me to be?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
