we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
