we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
