Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Fuck 8am classes

(330): View more from Ohio

Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.

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(585): View more from New York

My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.

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(443): View more from Maryland

We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.

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(812): View more from Indiana

we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads

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(573): View more from Missouri

my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.

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