is your mom at the bar?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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