just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
