If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
