every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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