Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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