All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
