12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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