And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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