We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
