I need help removing her.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
