So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
