Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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