yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
