I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize