The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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