hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wear drunk well.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize