I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
