so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
