The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you never un-have a 4some
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
