Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
