You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
