i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
