Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize