Whod you bang
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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