His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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