Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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