Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
