I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
