I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
