i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
