He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
they need to just BURY HIM!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You made out with two different species that night
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize