Umm I'm too high to move.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
