u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
