Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
