Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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