omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he puts the penis in happiness.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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