I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
