we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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