You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize