We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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