Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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