every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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