More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
