we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
