Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
