so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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