im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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