She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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