look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
