I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
